Rays of light passing through the peep holes among the window on my right which I try shrugging off by putting the blanket overhead. This didn’t help, as I couldn’t stop it from awakening my depressed mind, even the quarter whisky I had in the night hadn’t helped either.
Scratching my head, I made myself to rise from the bed and tried to clear the mess in order to get a way out. Pieces of window glass which had scattered all on the floor made me realize how my life wasn’t that different than those pieces of glass, all broken. I didn’t bother to clear it even today, same way as I didn’t want to correct my life either.
Searching for the earphones and for some music to keep the obsessive thoughts in check and the person I love less annoyed. But even the music didn’t work, as it only ignited more fire than the usual pain. I adjusted myself in front of my laptop and tried to complete the story I had wanted to write from a while now. It was strange as no new thoughts flowed into me like before, and only thing which came out was drunken rambling which I remembered nothing once I was awake.
I had to finish this story; it was my last hope to regain the life I once had, the one of being the author of an acclaimed novel. I had a wonderful life with my book doing really well while the love of my life was with me hand in hand, through the struggle and now the fame. But that was a year ago, now I was searching for that little hope to get me at least to struggle.
The phone started to beep which I knew was the publishing house calling for knowing my progress, I didn’t care to lift as I had nothing new to say. I kept typing and deleting while nothing seemed to fit the plot. Yes I did have a plot, a wonderful love story which was very different from the one before, a thriller. But all that romance had come to a still when she walked away from my life, leaving me alone in the world we built.
It’s been almost a week since I even ventured out; I seem to hate the sunlight itself and my love for darkness had only increased. The entire house had filled up with smoke while packets of cigarettes and alcohol had been littered all around the place. There was a door bell, which was really strange because I felt I had scared all the people away and there was no one who would have dared to come to my place.
As I reluctantly opened the door, I found a little girl in her pink fairy costume with a wand in her hand smiling at me. The first thought which stuck me was, am in heaven, have I passed away, which was possible with respect to the smoking and drinking for the last one year. But my thoughts were stopped in midway, when she spoke, “Uncle, did my parents give you the house key?” I wondered, yes I did hear the bell ring in the morning, but I was too lazy to open back then. I replied “No they didn’t”, and her face became all sad and she started mumbling “they forgot about me, they always do…they didn’t even make it to my fancy dress competition which they promised they would.”
I just couldn’t see her cry, so I offered her to take her to a park nearby as I couldn’t bring her in; the place was a total mess. The sun appeared to have missed me and was beating down with all the force to get my notice but the clouds were kind enough to shadow over the sun, and rest the calmness upon us. I made a call to her parents who had informed that they were heading back home and were stuck in a big traffic jam; Delhi traffic is totally predictable, once it jams then we are sure that we are stuck there for a while now.
I told her the same and offered her my favourite chocolate “Dairy milk silk” which she happily accepted and went back to play in the park while I went and sat on one of the benches in the corner. I was watching the children play, and especially their laughter which was so pure and so contagious. There was a natural smile which appeared on my face, making me enjoy the pleasant wind which added more beauty to the scenes of laughter all around.
The sun was trying to peep in from the gaps provided by the clouds which had covered him; I was unfazed this time and allowed it to fall upon me, as I didn’t see it as a burden but more as a pleasurable feeling. I got up to take a small walk across the park, exploring the grass which was still wet from the last evening shower. A pack of wind whistled past the tree which allowed the held up rain water to fall below where I had been standing for a while. I thought to myself that the universe had started to conspire for me again, or maybe I was really desperate for the world to embrace me again and give me back my beloved life. I didn’t know which was true, but thing which I was sure, was that I had to move on which required an effort, a very big one, from my side.
The phone starts beeping again, this time it’s was my neighbour, calling to inform that they have reached. I took her back to the apartments where her parents were waiting all anxiously. Before she left, she whispered “Uncle, will you play with me tomorrow?” for which I had a prompt reply “Yes, my little angel.”
She mumbled again “But…?”
“What happened?” I asked her.
“Please take a bath tomorrow uncle, you smell bad” and then she left.
I went back to my place, and looked around the house and believe me, it did stink so did I. Big beard and long locks of hair, highly unlike me. I headed out again, this time to the barber shop!
“Don’t lose hope; You will never know what tomorrow will bring.” – Anonymous.