The windows had been fluttering for a while and the curtains kept flying like a ghost, meanwhile I kept tucking my head inside the pillow to avoid any form of light so possible. I didn’t know how to fight it, I didn’t know who to side with, but all I managed to do was listen, even when I didn’t want to.
The fight had raged for over an hour, neither my mom nor my father had calmed down, instead they fired each other with insults and abuses, all the things they had accumulated in their 10 years of marriage. I was only 8 then, and didn’t knew that this would be our last day together. I didn’t even understand what was happening, until the judge had me asking whom I preferred to live with. The answer was simple then but may be a lot difficult now, I decided to side with my mother, knowingly or unknowingly I did let my father down for whom I was the biggest treasure in this world.
I missed him a lot, may be even my mother did but she never shared. She knew she could not be taken for weak, she knew she had to prove him wrong. All the time she tried to love me till a point where I will forget his existence, but all the time I kept feeling that it would have been better if he was along. I didn’t see my dad for over 15 years, they said he got married again but when I asked my mom the same, I was met with only silence. They said he has a daughter and a son, and a beautiful wife whom he finally loved and lived with, but I could never believe, I may never will. When I asked the same to my mother, this time I met with her tears along with a deeper silence. I could see that she still loved him but knew she would never admit it.
I tried searching for him everywhere till the point I found him on Facebook with a profile picture of his children and him. I was heartbroken, the rumour had finally come true and I wasn’t in a position to accept it. I made a pact with myself to never let him know about my curiosity, about my love for him, but all I was left were thoughts that I would confront him with, the thoughts where I would finally be able to ask whether he ever missed me. But I could never dare to message him until one day when I finally did. Those few hours were my longest till he finally replied with a place for us to meet.
Trying to fight both the emotions, happiness and fear, I made my way to the restaurant where I finally saw him in his trademark mustache which I had always tried to emulate but had failed times so many. I waived back at him with a big smile only to get a cold smile in return, making me question my decision to meet him but I tried hiding those thoughts as I made my way to the table.
After a long silence, he finally spoke.
Him: Do you drink? Shall I order a pint for you?
After having waived the waiter about the order, he tried to look straight into my eyes and tried saying something but couldn’t utter it out. There was tinge of a tear and a heaviness in his eyes when he finally said that he missed me.
I couldn’t control my tears as I replied at the very instant about how much I missed him. He came forward to console me and embraced me with a tight hug which I reciprocated. I was very much like him, very emotional, very sensitive and we always spoke from our heart. I knew it then that how much I loved him, but I just couldn’t leave him and I continued crying on my father’s shoulder.
Him: Calm down my son. I am here, don’t worry.
Me: Why didn’t you meet me or at least call me before? Did you even remember me?
Before I could let him answer, I kept asking him
Me: I needed you all these years but you weren’t there. And now you have come only when I called you, this is wrong Dad. This is very wrong. Did you actually miss me?
Him: I really did son, but I couldn’t do a thing before your mother’s will. She was adamant and for the right reason that I shouldn’t be allowed to meet you.
Me: Why would she say that? She still loves you!
Him: Even I love her and I would always do. But at that time I wasn’t at the right place, I had so many problems to sort that it took me time.
Me: What problems? Were they more important than me?
Him: They weren’t, they will never be. I will tell you about them when time comes, but as for now let’s leave them unanswered.
Me: Is it anything to do with your affair which broke us apart? Is it to do with your marriage?
Him: Yes it’s that affair which broke us apart but that was not the sole problem which I had to deal with. And who told you I was married?
Me: Some of our neighbors, I even saw your pic with two kids.
Him: They are my school children, I teach there.
Me: So you are not married?
Him: No I am not. Now will you stop accusing me and finally allow me to have my drink.
Me: Sure sure! We have a lot to catch up, mom will be really excited if she hears about you.
Him: I doubt that. Let’s put this meet as a secret.
Me: Not possible, you guys love each other then why don’t you give it another chance.
Him: It’s not that simple my boy. Now calm down, let’s see what happens.
Me: Okay, I am really hungry let’s go for the starters.
Him: Let’s go.
The conversation went on for another hour when we finally bid each other adieu, and I returned home to see my mom in tears. Dad had already called her about the meet, and she was happy as I told him but still wasn’t in a position to accept this until I finally opened up. She understood that this was inevitable, but she herself never gave him another chance. We met many more times but my hope for them to come together has remained a reverie. I am surely happy with the things as they are going but would always hope for a family finally; a happy ending some day.
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