“I sat down, recollecting and refurbishing the details of our last encounter. The time froze as the thoughts poured in to the floating phrases that I had been left to deal with. I closed my eyes, and finally allowed them the space to regroup into a complete whole for me to understand. The play was disturbing; the first thought that sparked reminded me of the void she had left, years ago. It’s really strange that the first possible thought we get when we meet someone, who used to be close, is the one of departure, the one that actually hurts.
It was raining heavily that day; cyclone warning had been issued and the landfall was expected in the next 6 hours. I still remember the frantic calls she had made to my office and how easily I had brushed them aside. She kept telling me to come home soon but I had an important client to satisfy. The deal would have been a big boost to my company, it would have sent us to the next level and I was too ambitious to avoid that. The last call that I received from her was on 8:05 P.M. There were 12 missed calls from her in total. When I finally gave her a call an hour later, the lines were left jammed. I kept trying her phone but all I could hear was how unreachable she was. I didn’t leave hope, as I frantically called her number every other minute, but signal was nowhere to be found.
I left the office in a hurry, managed my way through the overflowing flood to finally reach home. The lights were cut off, the house door was left open. The water had seeped in and all the items were floating in the verandah. I sensed my daughter’s teddy bear near my leg, while her favourite red dress was flowing away in to the main road. I couldn’t control my anxiety any more; the endless thoughts were running amok in my head. All of them related to their safety but I couldn’t find a trace of that in the house. I enquired with the neighbours but nobody was able to answer. I leaned towards the wall and seated myself with the tears that began to flow; it even beat the rain that stopped half a day later.
Next day, I reached my friend’s place after I received a text from her about Tara and Arya.
“Is she safe? How is Arya? Where are they?”
“They are upstairs.” She replied.
As I made my way towards the stairs, my friend stopped me with words that shook my world and left me shattered in a second.
“She wants divorce Ryan. She can’t handle you anymore.”
I didn’t want to believe those words, my Tara can never do that to me. I know my selfish self was talking again, but some characters in us are really difficult to be plucked.
I went ahead with the stairs and knocked her door only to hear the same words from Tara. The only difference was that this one broke my heart to pieces which I was sure would be never fixed again. I could hear my daughter sob from a distance but I wasn’t allowed inside the room. The door remained shut despite my endless protests. I didn’t realise then that the door would be bolted for me forever.
We signed the divorce papers the next Wednesday, and the last sight I remember of my daughter was in the court where her mother took the custody from me forever.
Today after ten long years, I saw Tara again.”
“Don’t make that sound, people are looking at us.” I chirped.
“That’s how I drink my coffee. The sound has a flavour of its own.” She hit back.
“Like this one?” I held out a loud slurp, now even the manager at the counter was looking at us with blank eyes.
“Stop it Ryan. You will get us evicted!”
“Who started it? Flavour and all? I want to find my flavour too.”
“Oh please, can we get over this?”
“Not until I am done with my coffee!” I sipped another loud one. Her expressions changed all of a sudden, she became quiet and pretended that I don’t exist.
“Attitude” I broke the silence with an awkward laugh. But she didn’t reply a word, so I got back to my coffee, and this time it was only silence. As I placed my cup back on the table, I heard a loud sip. There she was giggling her way through, and I couldn’t resist but to fall for her a little more.
“We could have done that together.”
“Next time for sure! we are meeting your parents tomorrow right. We will do it there.” She winked as I followed her outside dumbfounded with no words to counter; like always she had the last laugh.
“Wait for that person who will believe in your crazy little world, driving life into those dreams by reliving them together. However mad and impossible your dreams might sound to be, it will never sound that way to her. Because she will believe in you, she will see what no one could ever possibly see, the real you. When she will be around, there would be no filters, there would be no veils, there would only be naked truth, the real you. So when she is there with you, you will know how lucky one can be. There is no doubt that she would be rare to find but trust me it will be worth the wait. Just imagine a morning you wake up dialing her number and suddenly narrating her your dream, even breaking into a song together. It’s like poetry running loose; she creates you a verse, you fit another verse with hers, and it just goes on and on, like there is no end to it. Despite sounding too idealistic, I would though admit that it ain’t going to be a La La Land if you come together, but it ain’t going to be an oblivion together as well. Sometimes the poetry might stop flirting or might stop to flow altogether but that doesn’t mean it’s going to end again, it means you need to jazz it up a little. So when the words stop to flow, you turn on the music and take her along for a dance. So don’t ever stop trying to hold on to someone who you feel right about, take your chances and make them work. It’s hard to find, it’s hard to seek someone as crazy and as wild as you really are, and when you do, try never to let them go.”
“Miracles need effort to happen”.
P.S. If they aren’t into you, move on.
Pic Courtesy: Google
“She held a quite corner in a crowded metro rail as she rallied her mystifying presence with her narrative filled eyes to perfection. The very first time when I found her amid the chaos, she felt to me like an angel sent in disguise. It was her smile, the one which started from her lips and ended with her sparkling eyes, that made me stand in awe and observe her with a kind of serenity I never knew before. However, it only lasted a few minutes as she slowly rolled her eyes towards me, making me look away in haste. I tried to look back at her, I thought may be this time I could smile when she looks at me again but to my disbelief she hadn’t moved her eyes away from me. I was stuck in between my thoughts and her smile which she held as her eyes met mine, leaving me with a weird smile to flaunt. It was embarrassing as it could be, but I didn’t lose hope and this time it was a laugh that broke the freeze as we noticed a teenager sleeping with his mouth open. The laughter was slowly replaced by a silent gaze before she disappeared among the crowd as the gates of the metro rail opened, flushing out people in great number while leaving my heart thumping about a possible loss. As I rested my head over the side wall, I found her smiling from a distance, and before I could think of anything about approaching her, she had her hand waiving, bidding me a final goodbye. I was moved back a little, but I finally managed to put my arm in action and left her with a goodbye and a memory to remember. Meanwhile losing myself in possible thoughts about how things would have been if and only if we could have managed to speak.”