Day/Night

Bubble-wrapped Dreams

Lost & Found #1

The long & transparent glass door that separates the living room from it’s balcony, stood in silence as the white smoke engulfed every inch of its frame. It appeared as if the thirteenth floor apartment, facing the glistening Bay of Bengal, was caught on fire.

It was almost dawn when a man in his late twenties walked out of the balcony in a loose melange tshirt and sat on the floor, looking skywards. Ryan lit up the last cigarette of the pack and took a long drag with his eyes closed. He slowly opened his eyes while releasing the white smoke from the corner of his mouth. He leaned back on the half open door, watching the pale blue sky in front. The trapped smoke that previously engulfed the glass door, found it’s way to freedom as it ran away from the open door, through Ryan and upwards.

The past weeks’ weren’t really kind to him. One after the other, the loosely held threads of his career and relationship broke away. He did try to hold them together but sometimes, it’s a little too late to make any amends. He took the last puff and nipped the bud on the floor as he got up with disgust in his eyes. Disgust of what he has become, regret on what he could have been.

The cigarettes buds littered all across the balcony floor, the three plants, that Ryan had held close to his heart, all dried up and lost; the place was turning into a heap of dust and all he could do was to watch. He stepped inside, towards his wardrobe where he found a crumpled shirt that he uninterestedly wore. He slowly tucked it into the old jeans that he was wearing, and walked out with his car keys in the hand. The i20 that he brought an year back looked much older than it really was, standing in the dark at the very end of the parking. Ryan loosened the hand brake and drove to his office, for one last day.

The man who drove the sales numbers off the chart for the company, year on year, sat in his chair staring at multiple photographs on his cubicle wall. There was a tinge of wetness in Ryan’s eyes but he was too conscious to never let a tear fall. He packed up his stuff into a cardboard box and kept it to his right, & waited for the clock to turn 6.

Sometimes the trough is too deep to get out from, leaving only a faint hope for a crest, someday. However, in Ryan’s case, the hope had long disappeared. He carefully lifted the cardboard box as the clock beeped at 6, and moved towards the parking, without even bidding a final goodbye to all the ones who were once close to him. It wasn’t that the others didn’t try to cheer him up but he just never responded to them.

Ryan sat back in his car, closed the doors and the windows, and looked in front blankly. His hand was trembling as he tried to push the key in. On the third try, the key fell down from his hand and he had no energy left to pick it up. He put his head on the steering with his fist banging his thigh. He suddenly sprung back and shrieked at top of his voice. The pain followed as the tears flowed across his cheeks. The deep hurt that he felt for long kept aching for more. It was almost after fifteen minutes that he stabilized. He sat in silence, exhausted & empty. He finally gathered courage & picked up the key, and drove out into the fading sun, back to his apartment.

With a cup of black coffee in his hand, Ryan walked out onto the balcony. He glanced at the evening sky as he slowly kicked the cigarettes buds to the left corner, collecting all of them together. He looked at the empty floor and finally smiled.

Been a while.

15 months and counting,
Yet I sit here with closed eyes
Unsure if I could really write.

I do admit, like always,
I did really try. There were a few pieces
Here & there, yet it never seemed to arrive.

Like a hopeless romantic, however,
I remain firm to find,
The elusive dream, the priceless masterpiece;
Like always, I will try.

The Corner Office

It was the month of August, the sun was shining down with clear skies as Mr Mahalingam Muthu walked in to his office premise on appraisal day with his head held down. He avoided any possible eye contact as he maneuvered in the expansive building, hurrying for a moment and then slowing abruptly for the rest. There were multiple stairs on the way; he had to get down two and then walk a while again to reach his desk. It was a pesky little table against the wall that he had to share with another for over a decade now.

Mahalingam carefully placed his bag on the desk and sat down with his eyes fixed at the corner office on the top right. It had a large desk with a comfortable chair and a fancy desktop that stared on to the beautiful painting on the wall. However, all these were supportive elements, the one that mattered to him the most was the large window that peeped into the green outside. The very thought made him a little less suffocated, a little more alive. Though this dream of his remained elusive.

People came and left, some to other companies and a few to higher positions but Mr Mahalingam Muthu stayed put. His promotion was due for over 4 years now, the chance of making it ahead was growing bleak. There was a tinge of anxiety as he toggled his cursor towards the mailbox, but he couldn’t gather enough courage to click it. Feeling disappointed at himself, he finally gave up as he dragged the pending files from the corner of his table and started attending to them.

It was early afternoon, around 12 when he heard a loud shout of congratulations from behind. His eyebrows rose in surprise as his long smile touched his eyes, there were literal goosebumps on his hands. He rose from his chair and turned around to find his neighbor being congratulated instead. There was a sheepish smile as he congratulated him in a low tone and sat back on his chair. He stared at the blank screen for long before getting back to his files.

It was only in the evening that he clicked on the mail. He was all alone in the space, baring a couple in corner, when he finally saw what was meant to be. There were tears swelling in his eyes as he put his head down on the desk only to rise suddenly from his chair with a shout, ‘Yes! Yes!!’. He looked around with a smile, only to find a few staring at him as if they saw a mad man. He sat down immediately, unable to hold his grin. He looked up again to his top right and smiled.

‘It was meant to be, it was meant to be’, he mumbled to himself as he carefully placed the files back in the corner and got up to leave. He walked for a while before climbing two stairs up with a long-forgotten smile on his face. It was a long journey, but he didn’t mind it today.

The End.

The Routine

Sunrise

It was quarter to five in the morning. The man in security uniform got up from his chair and walked close to the apartment gate with his eyes fixed in the sky. Although there was still time for sun rise, he nevertheless stood there waiting. It had been over twenty years since he joined the security team at the apartment complex. He would come in late in the night and would leave before the residents woke up. Not many people knew him as much they knew the sound of the stick that he would thump on the ground during his numerous strolls around. There, however, was an air of nonchalance around him as he sat on the chair near the gate, humming tunes from the old Bollywood movies. He liked it there; may be was too habituated to the night and the accompanying solitude that he even turned a blind eye to his child’s request to quit the job. Now at the cusp of dawn he stood there waiting like a curious child for sunrise. When it was time, he bowed with his hands together to the rising sun and then walked back to his chair with a gentle smile of satisfaction on his face.

Period.

The Bench

• 

The Glass Window

I’m Alright

Fiction

“I believe there is still a conversation left for us to have”, I said.

“Even after all that happened, you think I still owe you one!”, said Tara as she picked up her black coat from the shelf and rushed out, slamming the main door in anger.

I stood in the balcony with my elbows resting on the parapet as I watched Tara walk out of the front gate. Unlike previous instances, she didn’t look back at me. The hope was fading away and there was nothing that was left to be done. I went back to the kitchen, poured my share of coffee, and returned to the balcony, waiting for her to come back.

It was only at 11 in the night, I decided to let go off my ego and call her. It had been four hours since she left, and the anger had then faded into concern. She didn’t pick up the first time I tried. Next time, the phone was switched off. The anxiety was catching up fast as my heart started racing ahead of time. There were sweat beads forming on my forehead as I tried calling her again, only to meet with the same response.

I rushed towards the ground floor and ran towards the park that Tara often visited and spent a lot of time in. I searched across the four corners, but she wasn’t there. The café that served her favorite coffee had been closed, the streets now hardly had any people walking by. I anxiously started calling all possible friends she could have visited, eagerly hoping that she is safe.

“Riya, she might have gone there”, I thought to myself, but before I could dial her number, I received a text from Tara.

“I’m alright.”

I called her back and this time she did pick. “Thank god, she did.”, I whispered to myself.

“Where are you now? Is everything alright?”, I asked.

“I’m alright. I am at my Aunt’s place.”, she replied.

“When will you be back?”

“I don’t know. Bye Ryan.”

“But Tara! I am sorry, I really am.”

“It’s always like this. Always.”

“But, please listen to me!”

“No Ryan. Bye, I have to go.”

“Arey baba, listen!”

“No”, and she hung up.

I slowly walked back to my apartment, made myself a small dinner from the afternoon leftovers and slept.

It was six in the morning when the doorbell rang. I opened the door and there she was, standing in front of me, staring right into my eye.

“Tara, Thank God, you’re back.”

She didn’t respond as she walked past me towards the bedroom, took her pillow, placed it on the sofa and slept without speaking a word.

I smiled as I went close and kissed her on her forehead, and then slept on the floor next to the sofa.

Fin.

#TaraRyan